Do not adjust your set: Gwyneth Paltrow is spreading Goop all over TV
Huge excitement in TV’s burgeoning disinfomercial genre, as Gwyneth Paltrow’s Netflix show prepares to make landfall next week. Based on her lifestyle portal, currently valued at $250m, The Goop Lab will see the turbocapitalist fanny-egg entrepreneur take us to new frontiers in the wellness universe.
Incidentally, I just want to say right off the bat that I still have no idea what “wellness” even means, but I make sure to always use it with an appearance of knowingness, like I do with “neoliberalism” or “cervix”. In fact, I am beginning to think there may be some semantic overlap between all three of the aforementioned concepts. And once I’ve read all the books in the world about all the other subjects, I guess I’ll force myself to get around to finding out.
For now, let’s just let the show’s arrival cascade over us like the outdoor shower in a $1,700-a-night East African luxury eco-lodge (the massage cabanas are amazing, but the town does get dangerous after nightfall). And so to a breakdown of what we know.
Of course, Gwyneth & Co have gone with The Goop Lab, suggestive as it is of a highly scientific facility, and definitely not one of those Potemkin labs the Russians use during the Olympics, where it’s basically just a lab-effect stage set built around a hole in the wall through which they pass the clean piss.
It seems pretty clear the only thing you do with clean piss here is drink it. The ...
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